Reminds me of the other day when Phillip Schofield came out as gay and his mrs supported him. Spurned on by this i confessed to the mrs i preferred younger women. She wasn't too happy ffs. Anyway i reckon he only came out as gay cos someone found out hes a newcåstlë fan so to save embarrassment.
Talking to a Rochdale fan in Jameson's after the game and we got on about Lancashire fans rivalries. I said that they reckon a lad called Mac from Fleetwood is supposed to be the hardest of them all. He said that he had never heard of him.. I said everyone has heard of Fleetwood Mac for goodness sake..
The wife asked the young fella to give her the phone book. He said "Mum, we don't use phone books anymore and gave her his iphone. Now the spider's dead, the iphone's broken and young fella's not talking to his mum.
My boss appointed a new PA, she can’t type, she can’t take note and has a reading age of 12, she told me she can’t conceive. How she got the job?
I'm not sure but it looks like one of those special pens accountants use for double entry book keeping.
A homeless man I was passing asked if I could give a few pennies for his dog. Walking off with Spot I said, "Keep the quid."