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Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.
Is this turning into a coming out the closet thread?
Some bloke walked up to the counter today and said, "Burger and Fries please."
"Certainly sir," I replied. "Are you eating in or taking out?"
"**** off you prick," he snapped, before walking off with his food.
I ****ing love working in the prison canteen
Depends which way U bend.
Jesus your on a roll now.
bog standard replies
Are you taking the piss?
That would be Ideal Standard, or at least that's what it looks like from my point of view
are you talking ****e.........
The sailing results are in:
USA took gold,GB took silver and Somalia took a middle aged couple from Weymouth
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “You’re in here a lot. Are you an alcoholic?”
The horse ponders for a minute, then says, “I don’t think I am.” Then Poof! He disappears.
This is where Philosophy students start to snicker, since they are familiar with Descartes’ postulate “I think, therefore I am.”
….I could have told you that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
A white horse walks into the pub and the barman says we have a whisky named after you, the horse says that’s amazing I will have a double Dobin please
A horse walked into a bar in Newcastle ...
... it was an iron bar
Just in town and tried to give a few quid to a street collector for an epilepsy charity ...
.... daft bugger wouldn't keep his tin still
To answer your question mate, the following is typical of one of these big estates.
First thing is a walk round the grounds to see if there's any overnight damage, trees come down, animal intrusions, other disturbance. It also gives you the chance to give a nod to the daily staff/outside contractors/etc arriving so they know they're being clocked.
Then it's a meeting with the security shift who came on at 8am. They'd get a print out of who's working that day as well as anyone visiting for inspections/quotes/meetings together with car registrations. Listen to any grievances, security staff always have some, then on for a quick chat with whichever contractors are on site.
When all that info is gathered it's a coffee and an email to everyone involved in the running of the property from the company solicitor to the finance department. The contractors will moan about overdue accounts, the cleaners about the poor quality of the digestive biscuits.
Then its a tour around the interior, check the indoor pool, radio the handyman for any running repairs or light bulbs the cleaners have reported.
The rest of the day is meetings, phone calls and random stuff like making sure the chauffeur has all the cars fueled, cleaned and replenished with bottles of water, etc. Then it's contacting suppliers, colleagues, et.
4pm is the security changeover, cleaners going and making sure any contractors are aware of when they need to be gone.
Last thing is locking the house, emailing colleagues with 'end of day' stuff and quick look around so I'm seen on the cctv before I knock off
Sorry for butting in, this is fascinating. Are you armed at all?
This more aimed at when you were lokkkg after others at various event
I appreciate if you can't or won't comment, also this is Not intelligence gathering for a celebrity hit I'm just genuinely interested
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Smug on his scooter
Hi mate, no I've never been armed in public but have worked with people who are.
In France I had a 5 round pump action shotgun but that was on private property. The first round was salt, the next was rubber and the last three were real. My theory was that a salt round in the face would frighten most people, rubber would take care of 99.9% of the rest. If all that failed it would've been a blast to the legs. In reality the sound of the loading slide coming back would scare most people ... it sounded evil.
I also had a lovely handgun I was given by a friend who'd 'confiscated' it.
Sadly I had to leave them both behind when I left France, they were like old friends ...
... great to knock around with and a great comfort in difficult times
I can officially say, **** that for a game. Of soldiers
Me and Mrs Smug had to go the the home of Dame Vivien Duffield, near Monaco ...
... the gates were so far from the villa the security were on Segways.
It looked absolutely mental watching 18 stone monsters zooming up and down the drive!