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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

Page 215 of 1584
  1. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    Two blokes playing cards and one deals out every card to his mate.

    His mate says,
    "Hey what's the big deal?"
     
    #4281
    Smug in Boots, Mar 11, 2019
    MrRAWhite and rooch 3 like this.
  2. David Moyes' Stupid Face

    David Moyes' Stupid Face Well-Known Member

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    A man visits the doctors: "Doctor, doctor! I've got five penises!"

    "Bloody hell, how do your trousers fit!?" asks the doc.

    The bloke replies, "Like a glove".
     
    #4282
    David Moyes' Stupid Face, Mar 11, 2019
    Makemstine Roger, MrRAWhite, rooch 3 and 1 other person like this.
  3. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Haha lets have some jokes
     
    #4283
    rooch 3, Mar 11, 2019
  4. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I hate marriage counselling. The Wife bought up my premature ejaculation. Said it was getting on her tits.
     
    #4284
    Gil T Azell, Mar 11, 2019
    Milton Nunez's Thong, LAMackem, Deletion Requested1 and 5 others like this.
  5. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    That lad with the lab nearly bled to death a couple of of weeks back I found him trying to read a cheese grater
     
    #4285
    rooch 3, Mar 11, 2019
    Deletion Requested1, Makemstine Roger, MrRAWhite and 1 other person like this.
  6. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    My mate with no arms and legs says he was going to break the record for swimming across the Humber but I had to drag him out half way across with cramp in his ears.
     
    #4286
    rooch 3, Mar 11, 2019
    MrRAWhite and Gil T Azell like this.
  7. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Gil you have a bad a sense of humour as me
     
    #4287
    rooch 3, Mar 11, 2019
    Gil T Azell likes this.
  8. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    My mate comes to my party and says can I use your toilet I says I it’s upstairs on the left he says could I use the outside one I take salts, I said don’t be daft use the one upstairs any way he he hasn’t come back after half an hour so I go looking for him when I open the toilet door there’s **** everywhere even on the ceiling i sa f uck me what type of salts do you take and he says somersaults
     
    #4288
    rooch 3, Mar 11, 2019
    MrRAWhite likes this.
  9. master-simpson

    master-simpson Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh>

    Bart
     
    #4289
    master-simpson, Mar 11, 2019
  10. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    My mate mick went metal detecting and he’d dug e 16ft hole before he remembered he was wearing steel toe capped boots
     
    #4290
    rooch 3, Mar 11, 2019
    Makemstine Roger likes this.

  11. Nads

    Nads Well-Known Member

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    What’s got 3 legs and 4 arms?

    A **** drawing of a snake.
     
    #4291
    Nads, Mar 11, 2019
    MrRAWhite, Gil T Azell and rooch 3 like this.
  12. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    What's the difference between a camera and a sock?

    A camera takes photos and a sock takes five toes..
     
    #4292
    MrRAWhite, Mar 11, 2019
    Gordon Armstrong and Gil T Azell like this.
  13. Nads

    Nads Well-Known Member

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    What do Russians use to stream TV shows?

    Nyetflix.
     
    #4293
    Nads, Mar 11, 2019
    Gil T Azell likes this.
  14. Sidthemackem

    Sidthemackem Newcastle United 0-1 Cambridge United
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    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who can swim the Humber? Clever Dick.
     
    #4294
    Sidthemackem, Mar 11, 2019
    Gordon Armstrong, rooch 3, MrRAWhite and 1 other person like this.
  15. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Who remembers when X Factor was just Roman suncream?
     
    #4295
    Gil T Azell, Mar 11, 2019
    Deletion Requested1 and rooch 3 like this.
  16. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    “Polygamy – the art of parrot-folding
     
    #4296
    Gil T Azell, Mar 11, 2019
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  17. Nads

    Nads Well-Known Member

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    What’s black and sails the seven seas collecting rubbish?

    Binbag the sailor.
     
    #4297
    Nads, Mar 11, 2019
    Gil T Azell, Deletion Requested1 and MrRAWhite like this.
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    reminds me of a shoplifter legging it
     
    #4298
    Makemstine Roger, Mar 11, 2019
  19. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    Toddler to mum;
    "Mummy where does poo come from"

    Mum (thinks suppose I have to tell him) to toddler;

    "Well when we eat our food it goes to our tummy which takes all of the good stuff out and the the rest is waste which comes out of your bum as poo"

    Toddler to mum;

    "Ohh I see so where does Tigger come from?"
     
    #4299
    Deletion Requested1, Mar 11, 2019
    rooch 3, Gordon Armstrong and MrRAWhite like this.
  20. Sidthemackem

    Sidthemackem Newcastle United 0-1 Cambridge United
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    How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?



















    A banana...
     
    #4300
    Sidthemackem, Mar 11, 2019
    Gordon Armstrong and MrRAWhite like this.
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