Our local greengrocers is called Mamas 'n' Papas. I bought a head of lettuce from there the other day, but couldn't eat it 'cos all the leaves were brown !
A beautiful young woman walks into a bar completely naked, stands in front of the barman, and says "Give me a pint, please" The barman serves her and stares at her, not moving. "What's wrong ?" she says "Have you never seen a naked woman ?" "Yes, many times." the barman replies. "Why are you staring, then ?" the woman asks. "I want to see where you're going to get the money from to pay for the pint."
Always thought the four words I never wanted to hear from my wife were, "I want a divorce". Turns out it's actually, "What is your password".
