Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

This is an actual extract from a sex education textbook for girls, printed in the early 1960's in the UK. As far as we have come, we have so far to go!!
“When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.
When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest Congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.
Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up, and apply your night-time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready
Credit to the Respective Owner ✍️

 

While watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" in bed, I turned to my wife and asked, "Want to have sex?"
Without even glancing my way, she replied, "No."
"Is that your final answer?" I asked.
"Yes," she said firmly.
"Alright," I said, "then I’d like to phone a friend."
And that’s when the fight began.

We went out to a restaurant, and the waiter took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare," I said.
He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah," I replied, "she can order for herself."
And that’s when the fight began.

At her high school reunion, my wife couldn’t stop staring at a drunken man at a nearby table.
"Do you know him?" I asked.
"Yes," she sighed. "He’s my old boyfriend. I hear he started drinking right after we broke up and hasn’t been sober since."
I said, "Wow! Who knew someone could celebrate that long?"
And that’s when the fight began.

When the lawn mower broke, my wife kept hinting I should fix it, but I always had other priorities.
One day, I came home to find her in the yard, cutting the grass with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched for a moment, then silently went into the house. When I returned, I handed her a toothbrush and said, "When you’re done, you might as well sweep the driveway too."
The doctors say I’ll recover, but I’ll always walk with a limp.

My wife sat next to me as I was flipping through channels.
"What’s on TV?" she asked.
"Dust," I replied.
And that’s when the fight began.

One Saturday, I got up early to go fishing, but heavy rain and wind forced me to cancel.
I quietly undressed and slipped back into bed, cuddling up to my wife. "Terrible weather out there," I whispered.
Without turning around, she replied, "Can you believe my idiot husband went out fishing in this?"
And that’s when the fight began.

For our anniversary, my wife hinted she wanted something shiny that could go from 0 to 150 in seconds.
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And that’s when the fight began.

When I went to apply for Social Security, I realized I’d forgotten my ID.
The clerk asked me to unbutton my shirt, and when she saw my silver chest hair, she said, "That’s proof enough," and processed my application.
Excitedly, I told my wife the story when I got home.
She said, "You should’ve dropped your pants; they might’ve given you disability too."
And that’s when the fight began.

One morning, my wife stood in front of the mirror, unhappy with her reflection.
"I feel old, fat, and ugly," she said. "I need a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight is perfect."
And that’s when the fight began.

This morning, I rear-ended another car. The driver got out and turned out to be a dwarf.
He glared at me and said, "I am NOT happy!"
So I asked, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
And that’s when the fight began.

One Christmas, I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a gift.
The next year, I didn’t get her anything.
When she asked why, I said, "Well, you haven’t used last year’s gift yet!"
And that’s when the fight began.

where una dey laugh from?

 

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Ann Summers founder Jacqueline Gold has died at the age of 62.
Out of respect, the undertaker will slide her deep into the freezer, then pull her back out again, then in, then out, then in, then out.....

 

My wife packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman.
"I want you to go!" she screamed.
I said, "Please can we just talk about it first?"
"Go on, I'm listening." she replied.
I sat down and said, "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life."

 

My son asked me what marriage is like, so I ignored him and walked away.