My mate said to me in the pub last night "Who's the bird sitting in the corner with duct tape across her mouth ?" "That's my new girlfriend." I replied. "Really ?" he said, "You've kept that one quiet."
The girls at the art school kept trying to persuade me to pose for them ... ... but I refused to be drawn.
A kinky girlfriend once asked me to dress up in a black and white bear suit ... ... I refused to panda to her fantasies
When my wife walked out on me, I thought it would be great to be able to eat my dinner, just slobbing about in my underpants. But the whole f*cking restaurant's staring.
Saw my wife in stockings and suspenders for the first time last night. I said, “er, hello dear, you’re back early.”
Doubt ya have ever called anyone ma'am unless your job has required it (forces or police etc..) Load of American bollocks. Couldn't give too much of a ****e about any of that ****e me. Best way to judge someone is if they are a arsehole or not
