Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

I was told that after a vasectomy
I wouldn't have kids anymore.
But when I got home
they were still there...

 

Watching TV with my wife on Saturday night, I realised the exact moment I didn't want to be with her anymore.
"Those numbers again, in numerical order are 6, 10, 26, 32, 35 and 48."

 

Did you know that the singer, Bill Withers, had a brother called Bear, who wrote telephone 'on hold' music

 

The Power of the English Language

1 . If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times , does he become disoriented ?
2 . If people from Poland are called Poles , why aren't people from Holland called Holes ?
Should a person who emigrates from Crete be considered an excretion?
3 . Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ?
4 . If a pig loses its voice , is it disgruntled ?
5 . If love is blind , why is lingerie so popular ?
6 . Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker ?
7 . When cheese gets its picture taken , what does it say ?
8 . Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist ?
9 . Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites ?
10 . Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things ?
11 . Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one ?
12 . " I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language . Could it be that " I do " is the longest sentence ?
13 . If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked , doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted , musicians denoted , cowboys deranged , models deposed , dog trainers debarked , and dry cleaners depressed ? ?
14 . Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office ? What are we supposed to do , write to them ? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail ?
15 . You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive .
16 . No one ever says , " It's only a game " when their team is winning.

 

Along the same lines, number 19 is my word for the day. CRAPULENCE

 

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Ask Alexa “What is coffee bean 100 in Welsh”.
(Not where the kids are )

 

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That’s from a film called The Witch. It centres around the girl stood on the rear row far right. She gets her kit off at the end. The goat at the back is called Black Phillip and is a manifestation of the devil. The film is on Netflix.

 

Inventive

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