Why are parents so bad at discussing sex with their kids? When I was ten-years-old, I saw two dogs shagging in the street and asked my Mum what they were doing. "Dancing," she replied. The first school disco I went to, I got f*cking expelled!!
An elderly woman went to buy some cat food and picked up three cans, only to be stopped by the cashier. "I'm sorry," the cashier said, "but we can't sell this to you without proof that you own a cat. Unfortunately, some seniors have been buying cat food for themselves to eat, and management requires proof that it's for your pet." Unfazed, the woman went home, fetched her cat, and returned to the store. With her furry friend in tow, she was finally allowed to purchase the cat food. The next day, she returned to buy two cans of dog food. Again, the cashier insisted on proof of pet ownership. So, the determined woman went home, brought in her dog, and successfully purchased the dog food. On the third day, the woman returned to the store carrying a small box with a hole in the lid. Handing it to the cashier, she said, "Would you please put your finger in the hole?" The cashier hesitated. "No way, there might be a snake in there!" The woman reassured her, "There's nothing in there that could hurt you, I promise." Reluctantly, the cashier inserted her finger into the hole, only to quickly pull it out, exclaiming, "That smells awful!" With a satisfied grin, the elderly woman responded, "Exactly. Now, may I please buy two rolls of toilet paper?" Credits goes to the original creator
New Years Eve confession. It happened a while ago. I got really drunk and ended up shagging my best mate. Now i cant even look at him anymore, never mind play fetch with him in the park!
My nephew fell asleep at a Boxing Day house party we had, so for a laugh I decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a c*ck on his forehead... My sister went mad when she looked in his pram!
All, I am not clever enough to load this 20 odd second video. Check it out on tik tok. Absolute fkn belter.
