Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Lazy people fact: #8011596789412899...
You were too lazy to read that number!

 

It's true that exercise helps with decision making.

I went for a run this morning and
decided never to do it again.

 

While the cats away.

 

Rebecca Vardy at home voting for Coleen Rooney to do all the bushtucker trials

 

After many years of dreaming, saving, and planning, a married couple make a trip to the Holy Land, bringing the wife’s mother along. While they are there, the mother dies. The wife being very distraught, the husband steps forward to make arrangements.

At the U.S. Conciliate he is told, “Transporting the remains back the States is complicated and expensive. I’m afraid the whole process is going to cost about $50,000. However, there is an alternative. We can arrange to have your departed buried right here. As a curtesy to international relations, it can be done at no cost.”

The man thinks this through and says, “We’ll take her back. Let’s get going on the paperwork.”

The representative answered, “I don’t think you understand. We can lay her to rest HERE, in the HOLY LAND, for FREE.”

The man answered, “What I understand is that 2,000 years ago you buried a man here, and three days later he came right back up again. I’m not taking the chance of that happening with my mother-in-law. Let’s get going on the paperwork. I brought my own pen.”

 

A Chinese man was sitting at the bar when a Jewish man comes up and punches him in the nose. He grabs his nose and says, “What was that for?”

The Jewish man says, “That’s for Pearl Harbor.”

The Chinese man exclaims, “Pearl Harbor?!? I’m Chinese! That was the Japanese!”

To which the Jewish man replies, “Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese…they’re all the same.”

The Chinese man sits at the bar getting angrier and angrier. Finally, he can take no more and goes and punches the Jewish man in his nose and says, “That’s for the Titanic!”

The Jewish man is puzzled. “The Titanic?!?”

“Goldberg, Steinberg, Iceberg…they’re all the same!” Replies the Chinese man.

 

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Another owldy

 

This doesn't apply to many of us, does it

 

Arctic weather brings London and the south of England to a standstill, meanwhile up north we put a long sleeve shirt on ...

 

Been snowing in Bradford today.

 

I set up a business selling camping supplies.

We’re having a big seasonal sale at the moment …

… I’ve called it, ‘Now is the winter of our discount tent’