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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    Another one :angel:

    A man in a Ford Granada pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he asks the guy in the Rolls: "Hey, you got a telephone in there?" The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I have." "I got one too... see?" "Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice." Then the man in the Granada says, "You got a fax machine?" "Why, actually, yes, I do." "I do too! See? It's right here!" "Uh-huh." The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Granada says, "So, do YOU have a double bed in the back?" And the guy in the Rolls says, "No . . . . do you?" "Yep, got my double bed right in the back here — see." The light turns and the man in the Granada takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he goes immediately to a customizing shop and asks them to put a double bed in back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done and he picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Granada. He finally finds it parked alongside the road so he pulls his Rolls up next to it. The windows on the Granada are all steamed up and he feels a little awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the steamy window of the Granada. The man in the Granada finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy in the Rolls says, "Hey. Remember me?" "Yeah, yeah, I remember you. What's up?" "Check this out — I got a double bed installed in my Rolls." And the man in the Granada says, "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?!"
     
    #34661
    Robertson, Nordic, Chunksafc and 4 others like this.
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #34662
  3. Montysoptician

    Montysoptician Well-Known Member

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    What is the fastest fish in the world?

    A motorpike

    What is the second fastest?

    A motorpike and sidecarp.

    <doh>
     
    #34663
  4. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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    Know where I'm dining tonight.

    FB_IMG_1730991478883.jpg
     
    #34664
  5. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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  6. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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  7. Montysoptician

    Montysoptician Well-Known Member

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    #34667
  8. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #34669
    Robertson, LAMackem, Snaggey and 5 others like this.
  10. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  11. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  12. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  13. Dunder Mifflin

    Dunder Mifflin Well-Known Member

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    #34673
  14. Dunder Mifflin

    Dunder Mifflin Well-Known Member

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    My mate quit his job at BMW.

    He of course gave no indication that he was leaving.
     
    #34674
  15. Draig

    Draig Well-Known Member

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    What's the difference between a woman and a stick of dynamite?

    You actually have to do something to make dynamite explode.
     
    #34675
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #34676
    Draig, Chunksafc, gelders pie and 5 others like this.
  17. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I woke up and saw my wife sobbing on the edge of the bed.
    "What's the matter?" I said and sat beside her.
    "You came in last night extremely drunk and said how much you hated me & the kids" she cried.
    Utterly shocked, I said, "I can assure you, sweetheart, that I wasn't drunk!"
     
    #34677
  18. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  19. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    We now live in a society where a pizza delivery would get to your house faster than the police !
     
    #34679
  20. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    My uncle has an important customer relations job working for a company that makes bicycle wheels . . . . he’s their spokesman.
     
    #34680

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