A nun and a priest are playing golf. The priest is teeing off at the first hole. The ball flies across the fairway towards the green, but lands yards from the hole. "Oh God damn it, I missed." The nun scolds the priest. "Father, you ought to be careful. You of all people should know that if you continue to blaspheme like that, surely the Lord will strike you down with lightning." At the green, again the priest takes his shot, but the ball rolls past the hole, coming to a stop just a few inches away from it. "Oh God damn it, I missed again." Again, the Nun warns him. "Father, watch your language. Take the Lord's name in vain again, and surely He will strike you down with lightning." The priest takes his putter and puts the ball towards the hole, in what should be in incredibly easy shot. Unfortunately, the ball skims the side of the hole and overshoots, coming to rest just next to it. "Oh god damn it, how could I miss that!", exclaims the priest. Suddenly, there's a bright flash of lightning, a huge thunder crash and a lightning bolt flies down and kills the nun. And then a voice booms from above... "Oh god damn it, I missed."
My wife packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman. "I want you to go !" she screamed. I said "Can we at least talk about it first ?" "Go on then, I'm listening." she replied. I then sat down, took a deep breath and said "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life."
