I was just about to finish my w*nk when someone knocked on my door. "Go away!!" I yelled, "I'm busy". He said, "Sir, the lights green."
Scientists now believe that if you masturbate frequently you have a greater chance of developing tourettes in later life. How the f*ck these b*stard brained arseholes come up with these c*cksucking motherf*cking ideas is beyond me for f*cksake.
I'm not saying the wife is a fat greedy tw*t. But she's just cleaned the oven with two slices of bread.
Sat in the pub last week and a beautiful Thai woman walked in. Olive skin, tight red dress. I thought to myself ' don't get an erection". But she did!!