Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

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I was telling my mate about how uncomfortable the buses are and he said “Did you come on the bus, then ?”

I said “Well I did, but I made it look like an asthma attack.”

 

I said to the lad in Tesco ‘is it true you carry customers shopping to their car free of charge?’ He said ‘we do’. As we got to my car I said ‘I only asked you to do it because I’m lazy’. He said ‘I realise that. Here’s your f*cking Twix!!..

 

"Breaking News"
The inventor of the Anagram has died...may he "erect a penis"....

 

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A man rushes into a bar and orders a double brandy. While the barman is pouring, the man
extends his hand at knee height and asks: “Do penguins grow this big?”
“I should think so,” the barman replies.
The man raises his hand. “How about this big?”
“Well, perhaps a king penguin, but I’m not sure . . .”
The man holds his hand at shoulder level: “This big?”
“Not a cat in hell’s chance.”
The man knocks back his drink in one. “Bollocks. I just ran over a nun.”

 

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