During my wife's labour, the nurse came up to me and said, "How about Epidural Anaesthesia?" I said, "Thanks, but we've already picked a name."
Fella goes into the green grocers and asks for a pound of potatoes. Shopkeeper says haven't you heard we've gone metric it's kilos now. Fella says ok then give me a pound of kilos..
I once sold one of Sunderland’s worst players to one of the biggest and most successful clubs in world football
In attempt to make a bit of money, me and the missus decided to release a sex tape. Sure enough, our neighbours paid a fortune to give it back to them.