Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Keyboa d fo sale pe fect wo king o de .

 

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him.

"What in the world is wrong with you?! You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied:

"I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

 

I’m gonna do this

 

same here

 

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My nickname is 'The Love Machine' . . . . but only because I'm not very good at tennis

 

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We’ll bring grapes. Let us know visiting times

 

Yep . . . . that's fixed

 

A father passing by his son's bedroom
Noticed the room unusually clean and saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that mari*juana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Josh
P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home

 

Got sent this the other day. What's really cracked me up is the Mrs has txt the lad asking him to put a fiver on it

 

Hmm