Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

A dad asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know." The child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me that you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asks. “What's wrong ?”

"Oh, dad." The boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the "There's no Santa' speech, at seven, I got the "There's no Easter Bunny' speech, when I was eight, you hit me with the "There's no tooth fairy' speech. If you're going to tell me that adults don't really have sex, I'll have nothing left to live for."

 

Watching the match highlights there, not paying attention, and drank some of Mrs Smug's hair colouring ...

... I don't think that it's anything too bad, but I feel that I've dyed a little inside

 

A vampire goes to the Jobcentre and they offer him a job polishing mirrors ...

... he said he just couldn't see himself doing that

 

That's the oven clock sorted. Now onto the cars.

 

Obviously this is just the index.

 

The hardest part about starting a new relationship is learning how to fart silently again

 

Me and my Flat Chested 1st wife went to see a marriage counsellor
"What is the problem?
"Dolly Parton here says I'm too sarcastic"

 

I did a sponsored sleep in a farmers field for a homeless charity ...

... and woke up to a warm pat on my back.