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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I've noticed that since we got married, my wife has been drinking more and more, and I'm struggling to cope with it.
    I'm actually thinking of calling off the reception.
     
    #30601
  2. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    "Sorry I'm late home," I said as I arrived back from work. "Some bloke had lost a £20 note in Tesco."
    "Were you helping him look for it?" asked my wife.
    "No, I was standing on it!"
     
    #30602
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  3. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Saw my wife in stockings and suspenders for the first time last night.
    I said, “er, hello dear, you’re back early.”
     
    #30603
    Robertson, Draig, Snaggey and 4 others like this.
  4. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    When my wife walked out on me, I thought it would be great to be able to eat my dinner, just slobbing about in my underpants.
    But the whole f*cking restaurant's staring.
     
    #30604
    Draig, Oldsandy, Snaggey and 5 others like this.
  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    I can't believe the amount of people that don't understand erectile dysfunction . . . . it's not that hard :emoticon-0112-wonde
     
    #30605
    Draig, Gil T Azell, Snaggey and 3 others like this.
  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #30606
    butcher58, Draig, Snaggey and 4 others like this.
  7. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    Uncle Ben has been rushed into hospital after discovering a lump in one of his testicles.

    It turns out that it was a a boil in the bag !
     
    #30607
  8. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    TRAIN TICKET

    Three women and three men are travelling by train to a football match.
    At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.

    'How are the three of you going to travel on only one
    ticket ?' asks one of the men.

    'Watch and learn,' answers one of the women.

    They all board the train. The three men take their
    respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet
    together and close the door.

    Shortly after the train has departed, the
    conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the
    toilet door and says, 'Ticket, please.'
    The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with
    a ticket in hand.
    The conductor takes it and moves on.

    The men see this happen and agree that it was quite a clever
    idea so after the game, they decide to do the same
    thing on the return trip to save some money.

    When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for
    the return trip, but see, to their astonishment, that the
    three women don't buy any tickets !

    'How are you going to travel without a ticket ?' asks one
    perplexed man.

    'Watch and learn,' answer the women.

    When they board the train, the three men
    cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into
    a toilet just down the way.

    Shortly after the train is on it's way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the
    toilet in which the men are hiding. She knocks on their door and says 'Ticket please.'

    I'm still trying to work out why men think that they are cleverer than women.
     
    #30608
    Gil T Azell, Draig, Snaggey and 3 others like this.
  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #30609
    Gil T Azell, Draig, Snaggey and 3 others like this.
  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #30610
    Robertson, Draig, Snaggey and 4 others like this.

  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #30611
    Robertson, Gil T Azell, Draig and 5 others like this.
  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    This could be on a few threads . . . .
    please log in to view this image
     
    #30612
    LAMackem, Gil T Azell, Draig and 5 others like this.
  13. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #30613
  14. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #30614
    Gil T Azell, Draig, Oldsandy and 4 others like this.
  15. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    My wife asked me which of her friends I'd like to have a threesome with.

    Apparently I wasn't supposed to pick two of them.
     
    #30615
    Gil T Azell, Draig, Oldsandy and 4 others like this.
  16. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #30617
  18. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  19. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  20. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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