This is the problem that Monica Lewinsky had . . . . Clinton had food poisoning and said to her, “Hold my calls & sack my cook ” The rest is history
I was playing strip poker with the wife earlier and have to admit I was cheating like f*ck. It was the only way I could get her to keep her clothes on.
I'll never understand women. First my wife agrees to a threesome, then she goes right off on one when I tell her it's ok for her to watch from inside the wardrobe
Last night whilst watching television I said to the wife "you know what you're the absolute double of Jennifer Anniston". She gave me a cheeky grin and said "really?" I said, "yes sweetheart she's 9 stone and you're 18". I truly appreciated everything the paramedics did last night. I'm in Ward 15, and I'd like some visitors.
"My Willie" My Willie disappears in Winter, It doesn`t like the cold, My Willie disappears in Winter, But it`s really very old. I`ve tried a Willie warmer, But that`s no good at all, I`ve tried a Willie warmer, But my Willie is to small. I tied some string to it one day, To keep my Willie at my side, But the knot dropped off, and he went away, And disappeared inside. I remember in the summer, When my Willie was so big, I nearly trod upon my Willie, And snapped it like a twig. But now these days are over, And frosty days are here, And just the hint of a flake of snow, Makes my Willie disappear. I hope the day will come when I Will hold my Willie in my hand, And wave him proudly to the sky, As the pride of all the land. I hope you aren`t offended, It should come as no surprise, That my 'Willie' is a tortoise, And not what you surmise!". You all have filthy minds.
