My mate said, "It's mine and the wife's ten year anniversary next weekend. I thought we could go somewhere really nice together." "Sounds good to me, mate. What the f*ck are you going to tell your wife though?
I was told that Oysters improved your sex life, so I ate a dozen of them and it worked a treat. I ended up with the ****s and couldn't f*ck the wife.
I've just bought a ladder, which was very expensive, but I expect it to take my business to new heights