The only reason that I married my wife was because someone told me that she was a millionaire . . . . but it turned out that she makes hats.
A policeman goes home to his wife late in the evening after work. Exhausted, he enters the dark bedroom and strips out of his uniform, leaving it on the floor. He looks for the light switch but decides not to disturb his wife. Just before he's about to get into bed, his wife says "Honey, can you run down to the corner shop and buy some bread, so that I can make breakfast for the kids tomorrow ?" "Fine, but you should have mentioned it earlier" says the husband while putting the uniform on again. He runs down to the shop, gets the bread and exchanges small talk with the shopkeeper. "New job ?" asks the cashier "Nah . . . . why do you ask ? "I could have sworn that you were a policeman, but that's definitely a fireman's uniform."
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He h says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper." Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."
