I persuaded my wife to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse. I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.
On the bus the other day I heard two young girls in the middle of a conversation. One said "It was a good eight inches long." Her friend asked "How big around was it ?" The first girl made a ring with her fingers "about this big." "Wow . . . . and did it hurt ?" "Well, yes a bit, but it was worth it." "How did you feel afterwards ?" "Oh, very satisfied, really." " . . . . and did it last long ?" "Well, yes it did, in fact I had to flush three times before it went away."
A german female referee gave a Red Card to Turkish player, Karim Demirbay. Player told her "You should stick to the kitchen". The referee wrote that in her report & FIFA suspended him for 5 matches & as part of his suspension, he'll also have to officiate one womens football match.