Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him. "Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied, still in pain, in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together in his groin. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked, "How does that feel?" He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!”
The wife said to me today, "You never look at me any more." I said, "Yes I do." She said, "Tell me then, what's different today?" "You've had a haircut," I replied. "No!" she said. I tried again, New shoes! Again, No. Erm,You've lost weight! She said "See I told you." " Ah yes a new dress!" I cried. "No, I told you, you never look at me." " O.K. you win. What is it? I said. She sobbed and said, "I'm wearing a f*cking gas mask."
Someone posted a video yesterday on our local Facebook group from their dashcam as they pulled off a 50mph road onto a 20mph secondary road and got overtaken by a lycra-wearing cyclist
