I arrived home from work earlier to find my wife laid on the sofa looking awful. Just like every other day.
A man and his wife went to the doctor because the husband had trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated. The doctor checked his blood pressure and ran some other tests, then took the woman to a cubicle at the back of his office and asked her to undress completely. He asked her to turn around slowly, which she did, and then turn around in the other direction. Finally he said 'OK, come back out when you are dressed.' Whilst she was getting dressed the doctor said to the man "You can relax . . . . there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get an erection either."
I tried to set up a business as a masseur but it didn't work out ... ... I just kept rubbing people up the wrong way.