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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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    A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
    During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a
    relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious...
    Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and
    his roommate than met the eye.
    Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered,
    “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just
    roommates."
    About a week later, his roommate came to him saying,
    “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
    He said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just
    to be sure." He sat down and wrote :
    Dear Mother:
    I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not take the silver plate But the fact
    remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
    Love,
    your son.
    Several days later, he received an email from
    his Mother which read:
    Dear Son:
    I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and
    I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her.
    But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she
    would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow…
    Love,
    Mom.
     
    #26561
  2. Oliver's Army

    Oliver's Army Well-Known Member

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  3. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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  4. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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  5. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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  6. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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  7. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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  8. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    #26568
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    i think he only does it when its mine
     
    #26569
    Saf likes this.
  10. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    Oh he’s done me before
     
    #26570

  11. gelders pie

    gelders pie Well-Known Member

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    I spent nearly a lifetime believing this i e rule until recently. Just how much more of the stuff I “ learnt” at school is a load of crap I wonder ?
     
    #26571
  12. Oliver's Army

    Oliver's Army Well-Known Member

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    I must admit, it's the first time I've seen it on that sort of scale tbh and it's on a pub sign <laugh><cheers>
     
    #26572
    gelders pie and Makemstine Roger like this.
  13. gelders pie

    gelders pie Well-Known Member

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    If you Google it , it says 923 words go against the rule , only 44 for it. At the end of the day , scIEnce proves it !
     
    #26573
  14. Oliver's Army

    Oliver's Army Well-Known Member

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    Class. Got to love our language <cheers>
     
    #26574
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  16. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  18. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  19. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  20. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    Joe, a fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided to try his luck.
    On his first day of fishing he had no luck at all, but noticed that another fisherman near him that was scooping in one after another, and he had to know the secret.
    "Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what sort of bait you are using ?" he asked.
    The other man looked around a bit embarrassed. "Well, I am a surgeon, and quite by accident I found that human tonsil works very well."
    Joe thanked the man, thought about what sort of bait to try next time, and left.
    The next day, Joe returned to the lake, tried a different bait and still had no luck.
    Just like the day before, there was a different man reeling in fish after fish.
    "Excuse me," asked Joe, "but could you suggest a bait that I could try ?"
    "Well, I can but I am not sure it will do you any good. I am using a bit of human appendix."
    "Hmm," thought Joe. It seemed that the fish in this lake would require a little more effort than normal. He left, willing to give the lake one more try.
    On the third day, Joe still had no luck. As usual, there was yet another man near him bringing in fish left, right & centre. Joe wanted to confirm what he already knew.
    "Excuse me sir, but are you a doctor ?"
    "No . . . . I am a Rabbi."
     
    #26580
    Gil T Azell and spirit of 73 like this.

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