I was rubbing an old lamp earlier when a genie popped out and granted me a wish. I asked him to make me irresistible to all women. B*stard turned me into a pair of shoes!
A mate of mine gave me some counterfeit Mr Kiplin products. I must admit that they were exceedingly good fakes.
A cow is standing waiting to cross a road. A chicken comes up behind him and says "Don't do it mate . . . . you'll never hear the last of it"
