I was trying to get home in time for the football the other night, but I was being held up by a learner driver. She was driving really slowly and kept stalling. "Come on you stupid tw*t!" I shouted. "Get a f*cking move on!" She started crying and said it would be her last lesson with me!
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day . . . . push him out of a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life
