A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read 'Free Sex with every Full Tank.' Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and if he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, but no sex this time.' A week later, Paddy, along with his friend, Mick, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, but it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.' As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy, 'I think that the game is rigged and he doesn't give away free sex at all.' Paddy replied, 'No, it's genuine enough, Mick . . . . my wife won twice last week.'
As I stood at the bus stop having a smoke, I was surprised to see the bus leaving before its scheduled time. I could've sworn I put the f*cking handbrake on
An oldie Been reading an interesting book called "How to Swim the English Channel". It was written by Frances Near
What's the difference between PMS and Mad Cow Disease? One attacks the cow's brain and sends it fecking mental, and the other is an agricultural problem. please log in to view this image please log in to view this image
I'm in hospital, but don't Panic!.......... I ate what I thought was an onion, but it was a daffodill bulb! Doctors say I'll be out in the Spring.
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "And I"ve decided to give your wife 775 pounds a week." "That"s very fair, your honour." the husband said. "And every now and then I"ll try to send her a few quid myself !".
Boy George and Elton John are releasing a gay version of the Wizard of Oz. its called........ Swallow the Yellow thick load.
