Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home
When an old Grandpa John, walked by.

And the one old granny yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."

John said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools."

The second old lady said, "Sure we can! - Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age."

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, John dropped his drawers.

One of the old aunties asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then the three of them all piped up and said, "You're 87 years old!"

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, John asked, "How in the world did you guess?"

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, all the old girls happily yelled in unison...

"We were at your birthday party yesterday!"

Follow Us Act Biggy

 

His name is probably Damien

 

"It's important that we remember the true meaning of Easter" says the Archbishop of Cadbury.

.... I've got my coat

 

I'm writing my first book . . . . a bit of an unusual subject about basements. I'm hoping that it will become a best cellar.

 

Don't buy vodka from Whitley

 

Had to look label up

 

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Fr. Andy Riley,
Fr. Desmond Coyle,
Fr. George Byrne,
Fr. David Nicholson,
Fr. Declan Lynch,
Fr. Ken Sweeney,
Fr. Neil Hannon,
Fr. Keith Cullen,
Fr. Ciaran Donnelly,
Fr. Mick McEvoy,
Fr. Jack White,
Fr. Henry Bigbigging,
Fr. Hank Tree,
Fr. Hiroshima Twinkie
Fr. Stig Bubblecard,
Fr. Johnny Hellzapoppin’ ,
Fr. Luke Duke,
Fr. Billy Ferry,
Fr. Chewy Louie,
Fr. John Hoop,
Fr. Hairycake Linehan,
Fr. Rebulah Conundrum,
Fr. Peewee Stairmaster,
Fr. Jemima Racktool,
Fr. Jerry Twig,
Fr. Spodo Komodo,
Fr. Cannabranna Lammer.
Fr. Todd Unctious

 

Only 3 missing, hope that's research and not infatuation Smug

 

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I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill, but, instead I bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car.
When I got home, I explained to my dad what I did and he beat the sh*t out of me.
But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside the house was a brand new car.
We all cried especially me, because the car was from the electricity company, they were there to cut off the electricity,
My dad beat the sh*t out of me again!!!

 

I can't believe how much my glasses weigh. I got on the scales this morning and it said 13 stone, then I put my glasses on and it said 18.