Another owldy . . . . A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the still shaking driver said, 'Are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.' The badly shaken passenger apologised to the driver and said that he didn't realise that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle the driver so badly. The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm the one who is sorry . . . . it's entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years.'
I said to my mate "I've just watched that film about the Nazis." He said, "Oh what, the one with Adolf in ?" I said "No mate, you're thinking of 'Flipper' . . . . this was just about the Nazis."
I asked a girl for a date once, but she said no because I had a face like the back of a boat ! I didn't reply . . . . I just gave her a stern look.
Most parents claim that the best day of their lives was the day their child was born. I preferred the conception if I'm honest.
I've just paid for an all inclusive two week holiday at a 5 star hotel in Paris for my wife and her mother. That's how much I f*cking hate the French.
When asked if he preferred legs or breasts, Paddy said that he had a particular fondness for shaved fannies. He was informed that this was not an option with a KFC bargain bucket.
I wonder how patient you need to be to end up with a 'photo like this please log in to view this image
