My Auntie Marge has been ill for so long that we've changed her name to “I can’t believe she’s not better.”
A woman decides to spice up her sex life and buys a mini skirt and a pair of crotchless panties. The next evening she sits opposite her husband crossing and uncrossing her legs. After a few minutes he said ‘Are you warning crotchless panties ?’ She smiled and said yes. Husband said ‘Thank God for that . . . . I thought that you were sitting on the cat.’
I looked out of my window and saw a group of people gathering around a bloke who came off his motorbike, so I frantically rushed over. "Out of the way!" I shouted", as I pushed through the crowd. "Are you a doctor?" one woman screamed. "No" I replied, "The tw*t was delivering my pizza."
After Gary Glitter was recalled to prison, and his subsequent protest, Warner Bros are planning a sequel to ... ... Fiddler on the Roof
Judy married Ted and they had 13 children. Ted died. She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later. Judy remarried again, and this time she & John had 5 more children. Judy finally died, after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together." Ethel leaned over and quietly said to her best friend, Margaret: "Do you think that he means her first, second, or third husband ?" Margaret replied "He probably means her legs, Ethel"
