Johnny was riding his new bike A policeman on a horse stopped him and said Did you get that off Santa Yes replied Johnny We’ll tell him it should have a license plate I’ll have to give you a ticket Johnny asks did you get that horse from Santa Yes replies the policeman Well you’ll have to tell Santa that the dick goes on the bottom not the top
*For those who haven't heard, Washington State has just passed laws allowing gay marriage and legalizing marijuana.* *The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned".* *We just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!*
Clive: "Let's form a band!" Ulrika: "How will we chose our name?" Nigel: "We could do like ABBA did?" Tracey: "Bad idea"
My wife's best friend got drunk last night and came onto me. Now, in the cold light of day I'm finding it hard to come to terms with what I've done. Why the f*ck did I say no?
I heard from a neighbour about a trendy upmarket street food burger van, so I decided to visit with the wife. She said 'I thought that you were taking me somewhere special' and I said 'I have . . . . this van has got two Michelin tyres'
