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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Live scenes from East London as man attempts to buy four cucumbers:
    cucumbers.jpg
     
    #23341
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    you will love this if you havent seen it before

     
    #23343
    gelders pie and spirit of 73 like this.
  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    Jack is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Jack replied, "Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says "I've got the perfect solution. Just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl, and did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Jack answers "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother and you were right, my mother liked her very much."
    The friend said "What's the problem, then?" Jack replied "My father doesn't like her."
     
    #23344
    Draig, Snaggey, gelders pie and 2 others like this.
  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  7. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    A young couple took their two-year-old son to the doctor.
    With some hesitation, they explained that, although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
    After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared,
    "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
    The next morning, when the boy came downstairs for breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
    "Gee, mum," he exclaimed. "For me?"
    "Just take two," his mother replied.
    "The rest are for your dad."
     
    #23347
    Draig, Snaggey, gelders pie and 2 others like this.
  8. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    A young girl who was about to go on a first date was been tutored by her grandma.
    "He will try to kiss you . . . . allow him.
    He will try to cuddle you . . . . allow him.
    He will try to lay you down and get on top of you . . . . DONT ALLOW HIM"
    The girl asked, "Why, Grandma ?"
    Grandma said, "Because if you do that you will have allowed him to disgrace you and all your family."
    Girl said, "Okay" and left on her date.
    Several hours later she returned and grandma asked, "How did it go?"
    Girl said, "Exactly as you said, except for when he laid me down and tried to disgrace our family, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."
     
    #23348
    Draig, Snaggey, gelders pie and 2 others like this.
  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    This takes some skill & precision
     
    #23350
    mrs em, Draig, Snaggey and 4 others like this.

  11. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    "We asked 100 people to name something you use as a pizza topping.
    You said Turnips..."
    FB_IMG_1677223625849.jpg
     
    #23351
  12. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  13. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph
    When he gave me my book back
    It just said
    THanks
     
    #23353
  14. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Was behind a woman driver on my way home from work and she indicated to turn left and what does she go and do? She actually turns left!....
    How am I supposed to prepare myself with these sort of mind games?
     
    #23354
  15. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Lady came around today collecting for R.S.P. C.A. !
    I gave her next doors cat !
     
    #23355
    Draig, Snaggey, spirit of 73 and 3 others like this.
  16. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    My wife's so fat she had a gastric orchestra fitted.
     
    #23356
  17. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    This gets under our incredibly low standards.

    I haven't seen my twin brother since I left Australia...
    We were separated at Perth.
     
    #23357
    Draig, gelders pie, Snaggey and 5 others like this.
  18. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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  19. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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  20. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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