Couldn't resist another nibble eh... Nah I'm a Geordie, there's thousands of us pile into the SOL to watch our beloved Sunderland AFC. I try and avoid the whining on Mackems, like you.
Another owldy . . . . A young man with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth & a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local dole office. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE claiming benefits. I'd really rather have a job, I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing." The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just received a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2022 Mercedes-Benz CL & he will supply all of your clothes." "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward, but you will also have to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her 20's and has a strong sex drive. The lad, wide-eyed, said "You're having a laugh, aren't you ?" The social worker said, "Yeah . . . but you started it."
The man who invented 'cats eyes' got the idea when he saw the eyes of a cat reflected in his headlights... If the cat had been going the other way, he would have invented the pencil sharpener!
