I got pulled over on the way back home from grabbing McDonald’s with my niece. I was going 12 mph over the speed limit. As the officer started walking up to my car, I rolled all of my windows down. My adorable and apparently INCREDIBLY smart 7 year old niece started screaming from the backseat “It’s coming out! I can’t hold it any longer! It’s almost here!!!” Now the trooper is HEARING her scream this and he leans in the window and asks her “What’s going on here???” She looks him DEAD IN THE FACE and says “I’ve got poop coming outta my butt!!” He started laughing! I was shocked and embarrassed! He asked how far I had to go, which was about 3 miles home. He told me to drive safe and get Miss Pupu Butt home to do her business. He could NOT stop laughing! As soon as we pulled away I asked “What was that about???” My niece smirked and said “I saw it on YouTube but I didn’t think it would work.” I said “So, you’re not pooping?” She said nope and you're not in trouble either. This lil girl is my hero!!! Credit: Shalonda Lewis
Love that warm cosy feeling when you put clothes on straight out of the tumble dryer.. This woman in the laundrette is giving me some strange looks though.. Maybe its her dress..
My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly had 9 kittens so my wife told me to put them in a sack and throw them in the canal. I did it but It broke my heart. I quite liked her dad.
"Come into the bedroom, and I'll show you a good time!" I said to the wife... When she came in I showed her pictures of me and my mates before we got married!
