An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his local and ordered a drink. The barman thought that he looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong. "I'm scared out of my mind," the stud replied. "Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said that he'd kill me if I didn't stop having sex with his wife." "So stop," the barman said. "I can't," the womaniser replied . . . . "he didn't give his name !"
Watching TV with my wife on Saturday night, I realised the exact moment I didn't want to be with her anymore. "Those numbers again, in numerical order are 6, 10, 26, 32, 35 and 48."
Oldie but goodie Before the Bee Gees became pop artists, they were professional chefs. You could tell by the way they used their wok.
I arrived home from work earlier to find my wife crying in front of the mirror. "Oh my God" she sobbed, "I'm losing my looks." I said "Don't be so silly." "Your just saying that" she whimpered. "Do you really mean it?" "Of course I do" I replied. "You can't lose what you never f*cking had.
6 year old drew this at school.. Should the teacher be alerting the authorities? Or is a drawing of the family snorkeling in the WI?
COUNCILS .. Save money on expensive lollipop people and ensure the safety of the children by building schools on the other side of the road
