BEER vs. VAGINA: 1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER 2. Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA 3. A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER 4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA 5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a,scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being. 6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA 7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend. One point to VAGINA 8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA 9. You normally don't find old beer. One point to BEER 10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God. One point to VAGINA 11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. One point to VAGINA 12. In most countries there's a tax on beer. One point to VAGINA 13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One point to BEER 14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER 15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. One point to BEER 16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc. One point to BEER 17. You always know how much beer is going to cost. One point to BEER 18. Beer doesn't have a mother. One point to BEER 19. Beer never expectsto be hugged for half an hour after you drink it. One point to BEER FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8 That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them. An extra point for BEER!
On a pic something like this I read one of the greatest comments I have ever read. The guy stated he would slide naked down a razor blade just to hear her fart into a Walkie talkie.
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. 2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it. 3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight. 4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles. 5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late. 6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. 7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. 8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative. 9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers. 10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?" 11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing. 12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever. 13. I run like the winded. 14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on. 15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?" 16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery? 17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited. 18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east." 19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out. 20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops. 21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
