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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

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  1. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #22401
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 24, 2023
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  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #22402
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 24, 2023
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  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #22403
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 24, 2023
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  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #22404
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 24, 2023
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  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #22405
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 24, 2023
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  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    So what happened :emoticon-0112-wonde
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    #22406
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 24, 2023
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  7. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #22407
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 24, 2023
    Hefty fullback, Snaggey, Draig and 4 others like this.
  8. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #22408
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 24, 2023
    Snaggey, Draig and spirit of 73 like this.
  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    The lads asked if I wanted to go out for a drink last night. I checked with the Mrs. A. that we didn't have anything planned already, and told her that I would be back by midnight.

    A few beers too many resulted in me getting home at 3.00 am.

    As I opened the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall cuckooed 3 times.

    Thinking that this might wake Mrs. A. I hastily cuckooed 9 more times. Genius, eh! Drunk as a skunk, but still quick witted.

    I crawled in to bed without waking her.

    The following morning she asked me what time I got in.

    "Midnight . . . . why?"

    "We need a new clock in the hall, then."

    When I asked her why, she replied "Well last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said "Oh feck" cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed 3 more times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, then tripped over the cat and farted."
     
    #22409
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 24, 2023
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #22410
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 24, 2023
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  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #22411
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 24, 2023
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #22412
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 24, 2023
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  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    comedians at the docks

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    #22413
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 24, 2023
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  14. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Went in greggs today I said how much are sausage rolls she said 2 for £1 I said how much for one she said 70p
    I said i'll have the other one
     
    #22414
    Gil T Azell, Jan 24, 2023
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  15. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I've found that trying to pluck out nasal hair can be pretty tricky ...
    especially if it wakes the wife up and starts throwing punches.
     
    #22415
    Gil T Azell, Jan 24, 2023
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  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A woman is very distressed because she has not been married very long and yet her husband has lost interest in her. So she goes to see her doctor and relays the problem.
    The doctor doesn't seem worried at all and tells her that it is nothing serious, that her husband has merely lost his animal instincts. The doctor tells her to crumble some dog biscuits on her husband's cereal every morning without telling him, and little by little this will bring out the savage beast in him. He wishes her good luck and tells her to come back in a week with a progress report.
    A week later the woman returns to the doctor, who asks how her husband is.
    "He's dead," she replies.
    "Dead?" the doctor asked.
    "Yes. He was sitting in the driveway cleaning his bum, and I backed over him with the car.''
     
    #22416
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 24, 2023
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  17. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    FB_IMG_1674589085193.jpg
     
    #22417
    Gil T Azell, Jan 24, 2023
    spirit of 73, Snaggey, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  18. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    #22418
    Gil T Azell, Jan 24, 2023
    spirit of 73, Snaggey, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  19. Essayyeffcee

    Essayyeffcee Well-Known Member

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    Screenshot_20230124-210910.png
     
    #22419
    Essayyeffcee, Jan 24, 2023
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #22420
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 25, 2023
    farnboromackem, spirit of 73 and Gil T Azell like this.
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