Just been reading about a major Albanian crime gang that is terrorising London. Surely they can’t be too difficult to catch with all that white hair and red eyes.
Winter is nearly here & our native birds will soon be finding food scarce. Please go to the pet shop & buy a bag of nuts for our feathered friends. There is no finer sight on a winter's morning than a pair of tits around your nut sack. Just remember however it's a bit early in the year to expect a swallow!
I offered to help in the kitchen tonight. “Anything I can do?” Wife: “Sure, take this bag of potatoes, peel half of them and put them in a pan to boil.” I followed the instructions implicitly. No matter what I do, I still get yelled at.
I'm not saying I masturbate too much, but my c*ck has taken out a restraining order on my right hand.