A blonde was short of money so she kidnapped a kid and held him for ransom She wrote a note that said pay £10000 and leave it under the tree next to the play ground Signed A Blonde She pinned it to his shirt and sent him home The next morning she checked under the tree and a bag was sitting there She opened the bag and there was£10000 there with a note saying How could you do this to a fellow Blonde
The teacher said "Let's begin by reviewing some history. Who said: 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775 " he said. "Very good!" "Who said: 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'?" Again, no response except from Little Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863". "Excellent!" said the teacher continuing. "Let's try one a bit more difficult. Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country'?" Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F. Kennedy, 1961". The teacher snapped at the class "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Little Akio isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do". She heard a loud whisper: "**** the Japs". "WHO SAID THAT? I want to know right now!" she angrily demanded. Little Akio put his hand up "General MacArthur, 1945". At that point, a student in the back said "I'm gonna puke". The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now who said that?" Again, Little Akio says "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991". Now furious, another student yells "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!" Now with almost mob hysteria someone said "You little ****! If you say anything else, I'll kill you!" Little Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice "Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004". The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said "Oh ****, we're screwed!" Little Akio said quietly "The Labour party if Scotland goes independent".
I think it should be compulsory for women to wear makeup when driving. Just so they'll look in the f*cking mirror occasionally.
Protect your kids this Bonfire Night from fireworks by storing them in a tin.. Just dont tell the NSPCC and remember to put some holes in the tin lid so the kids can breathe .
An old lady goes to the doctors and says I have a problem passing gas but they are silent and don’t smell In fact I’ve done it a few times here already the doctor gave her some pills and told her to come in two weeks She kept the appointment and said to the doctor I don’t what those pills where but now my farts smell of old rotten fish the doc replied That’s good Now we have sorted your sineses out we can work on you hearing
