1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    Do you know you should never brush youe teeth with your left hand

    A toothbrush is a lot better
     
    #20041
  2. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    I was at local store buying pizza pop tarts and fruit

    Casher said you must be single

    Thats right how did you know that

    She looked at me and said

    Because your ugly
     
    #20042
  3. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    I was lloking for stand up comedians

    Found this one from Russia

    He was making jokes about Putin

    His jokes were really funny

    But didnt like his execution
     
    #20043
    spirit of 73 and Draig like this.
  4. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    How many south americans does it take to screw in a light bulb

    A Brassilion
     
    #20044
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,684
    please log in to view this image
     
    #20045
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,684
    Went to see my dyslexic mate today.
    I caught him using black shoe polish on his penis.
    I was confused, I'm sure I told him to turn his clock back.
     
    #20046
    Draig, C19RK73, spirit of 73 and 3 others like this.
  7. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    21,735
    Likes Received:
    58,374
  8. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    21,735
    Likes Received:
    58,374
  9. Oliver's Army

    Oliver's Army Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2019
    Messages:
    32,327
    Likes Received:
    62,490
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,684
    As I waited to be taken down to start my prison term, I was allowed a final minute with my wife.

    I said "Listen Jo, prison is a horrible place that changes people for the worse, and when I come out I doubt I'll be the same man you know and love. For that reason, I don't expect you to wait for me, so get on with your life and try and meet someone else who can hopefully be a father to our children. Most of all though, just stay strong and be happy."

    "Stay strong?" my wife snapped, "You're only doing a week for an unpaid parking ticket, you f*cking b*stard!"
     
    #20050
    Sid MCFC, Draig, gelders pie and 3 others like this.

  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,684
    When it's sunny I think 'Beer garden.'
    When it rains I usually go to the pub for a while.
    When it's snowing I like to sit in front of the TV with a case of Beer.
    I'm starting to think I have a problem with the weather.
     
    #20051
    Sid MCFC, Draig, gelders pie and 3 others like this.
  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,684
    Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced,
    "Please prepare for a crash landing!"
    The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady said, "Well when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first."
    The second lady not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra.
    "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned
    "Well when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first."
    The third lady who was African, not wanting to be out done took off her pants and panties.
    "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned.
    "Well they always search for the black box first?"
     
    #20052
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,684
    please log in to view this image
     
    #20053
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,204
    Likes Received:
    147,684
    Three Boro fans were talking about the sad state of their local club;

    The first fan blamed...: "I blame the manager; if we could sign better players, we'd be a great club."

    The second fan blamed...: "I blame the players; if they made more effort, I'm sure we would score more goals."

    The third fan blamed...: "I blame my parents; if I had been born in a different town, I'd be supporting a decent team."
     
    #20054
  15. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,217
    Likes Received:
    116,012
  16. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,217
    Likes Received:
    116,012
  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,217
    Likes Received:
    116,012
  18. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,217
    Likes Received:
    116,012
  19. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,217
    Likes Received:
    116,012
  20. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2019
    Messages:
    2,319
    Likes Received:
    4,925
    How does a women control her liquor

    By the ears
     
    #20060

Share This Page