jordan's prediction for tuesday

Tiote will wink at Rio, after Sir Fergie has made three half time subs having failed to find a breakthrough. Rio will then attack Tiote before any of his teammates can intervene. Suddenly Rio will disappear from view and slowed down TV footage will show a frame where Rio is squaring up to Cheik, and then the next frame will show Cheik standing over a mysterious red smear on the turf, what happened between frames will die a mystery. The Man U players crowd round the ref asking him to send Cheik off, but the ref daren't. Rooney loses his rag and repeatedly screams "**** off" in the ref's face, getting sent off and leaving Man U down to nine players.

At this point Newcastle take control.

Danny Simpson is played into the right channel where he whips in a cross which Ameobi crashes in with a bullet header. Enrique then weaves into the box before smashing an unstoppable shot past VDS. Michael Carrick then lays the ball off for Joey Barton to rifle into the top corner from 25 yards. Man U pile forward looking for a reply. Gutierrez terrorises them on the break, exchanging a neat one-two with Coloccini (who's playing up front with Shola) before slotting home the fourth. At this point Man U are in complete disarray, Newcastle are enjoying all the possession, the Ole's greet each pass before Coloccini chips VDS with an exquisite 30 yard lob.

The end.

 

Might have to put a cheeky fiver on that.

 

I'd ****ing love it if Coloccini did an Albert-esque chip from outside the box

 

1-0 the toon (shola off the bench on his crutches at the back post of his arse)

 

I personally think 4-3... Shola smacks a ball full belt and it deflects in off Kuqi's arse