Jokesville, Arizona

I was late for work one day. The boss asked me why. "I broke down", says I. "What happened?", he enquired. "I dunno", I said, "suddenly I just started crying and couldn't stop."

 

This joke is dedicated to ER.

 

I phoned into work one day and said I was sick.The boss asked me how sick was I?
"I'm in bed with my sister" I replied.

 

That happens all the time in Motherwell, North Lanarkshire. I kid you not.

 

We have a winner folks!!

Unless Toby comes up with a funny that is This is the best smiley on here, it works for everything

 

I don't think I've ever seen Toby make a joke

 

I always heard it, "in bed with my granny"

 

Ya sick bastard.

 

In fact, I heard all the jokes I know in bed with her

 

In bed with who? The mother of yer nig nog rug rat?

 

No, my granny, I just ****ing told you, are you pished already?

 

Answer the question

 

My granny.

 

**** you

 

My wife caught me on the internet the other night and asked me what I was doing - told her I was looking at cheap flights. She gave me the best bj I've had in my life then and there which is funny really - i thought she hated darts.

 

As in I don't post old jokes that people read on cheap crackers 20 years ago?

I'll get googling right away

 

As in I don't recall you ever making a joke of any kind. If you complaining the **** about everything is your humour then you would be better off googling for cheap xmas cracker jokes.

Nae offence. I luvs ya.

 

The old age must be affecting your memory

 

...I doubt my old age is affecting your humour bypass.

 

eBay would be a better option, you may be able to buy yourself a personality.