Jokes
- Thread starter ellandback
- Start date
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Jennifer walked up to a group of men at a STUTTER CONVENTION. "I will give a guy a blowjob who can say where he is from without stuttering".
The 1st guy approaches " D-D-D-D-Deby"
2nd... "Y-Y-Y-Y-York"
3rd...."London.."
so she gives him a blowjob, and when she is finished, he says "-d-derry"
The 1st guy approaches " D-D-D-D-Deby"
2nd... "Y-Y-Y-Y-York"
3rd...."London.."
so she gives him a blowjob, and when she is finished, he says "-d-derry"
A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.”
Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tom. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.”
“What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tom replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tom. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.”
“What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tom replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Johnny slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Johnny what's wrong.
"Well," replies Johnny, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Johnny, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Johnny, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."
"Sensible" says Jeff.
"So I get to her door," says Johnny, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?"
(Johnny slumps back over the bar again.)
"I kicked her in the face."
"Well," replies Johnny, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Johnny, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Johnny, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."
"Sensible" says Jeff.
"So I get to her door," says Johnny, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?"
(Johnny slumps back over the bar again.)
"I kicked her in the face."