Jokes
- Thread starter ellandback
- Start date
The man who invented the knock knock joke won the no bell prize today.
A man asked his wife
“What would you do if I won the lottery?”
She replied “I’d take half and leave you”
“Great” he said, “I won £10, so here’s £5… stay in touch”
“What would you do if I won the lottery?”
She replied “I’d take half and leave you”
“Great” he said, “I won £10, so here’s £5… stay in touch”
brisbane-lion
Well-Known Member
Don't know why I 'liked' this. Hope my wife doesn't see it.
A teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right & wrong.
"Let's take an example. If I were to get into a man's pocket & take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?"
A little boy raises his hand and with a confident smile, says, "You'd be his wife!"
"Let's take an example. If I were to get into a man's pocket & take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?"
A little boy raises his hand and with a confident smile, says, "You'd be his wife!"
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I didn't think that my uncle liked me but apparently he has left me a large building in his will.
Does anyone know where Sod Hall is ?
Does anyone know where Sod Hall is ?
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My mate Dave's always been the kind of bloke that gets stressed over everything, but lately he doesn't seem like he's got a care in the world.
"Why are you so laid back all of a sudden?" I asked him.
"I've hired a professional to worry about all my problems for me," he replied. "Only costs me a grand a week."
"A grand a week? How the hell are you going to afford that?" I asked.
"F**k knows. That's his problem."
"Why are you so laid back all of a sudden?" I asked him.
"I've hired a professional to worry about all my problems for me," he replied. "Only costs me a grand a week."
"A grand a week? How the hell are you going to afford that?" I asked.
"F**k knows. That's his problem."
brisbane-lion
Well-Known Member
There was a mix up of babies at a maternity home and they three children left over. Three fathers, an Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani were ll waiting. The doctor said "Go in, one at a time, and choose the baby you think is yours". The Englisman went in first and came out with a brown baby. The doctor queried this. "But you are white, why have you chosen the brown baby?" "I wasn't going to take a chance on it being Welsh."
you had better repent for that one before being smitten