Jokes

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Ten things to ponder as 2020 draws to a close.

1. The dumbest thing I bought this year was a 2020 planner
2. 2019 Stay away from negative people. 2020 Stay away from positive people
(might roll this on into next year
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3. The world has turned upside down. Old people are sneaking out of the house and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors.
4. This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.
I came to my house and told the dog.....we had a good laugh
5. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pyjamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
6. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?
7. I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a 6-foot barge pole” would become a national policy but here we are!
8. I really need to practice social distancing...... from the fridge
9. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the garden.
I am tired of the living room
10. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank clerk with a mask on and ask for money.
 
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Reactions: Makemstine Roger and ellandback
Fella's doing his first stretch in prison and sharing a cell with a big coloured bloke.
The big bloke says "What do you want to be? The Mammy or the Daddy?
The fella says "I'd like to be the Daddy"
The big bloke says "Well come over here and suck Mammy's cock then"
 
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Not really a joke more of an observation.
If Black Lives Matter, does that mean that white, brown, any other colour under the rainbow lives, don't matter?
 
Botev Bielsa said:
It makes me laugh that a campaign that purports to target racism is headlined by a statement that I find to be racist wtf
Click to expand...
They missed a trick not calling it ‘All Lives Matter’ it would have had just the same meaning in reality but would have been much harder to criticise.

personally I don’t like BLM and I wish they’d stop wasting part of the MOTD highlights by showing it - though I agree there’s a problem especially in States but also here and elsewhere
 
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Reactions: OLOF, Botev Bielsa and 2 pennth
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