63 Pakistanis died in Bradford yesterday, it wasn't a terrorist attack, a bunked collapsed The Police are blaming AL Ikea
I was at the bus stop and the bloke standing next to me had one arm and he was wearing his wristwatch on his stump. So being the nosy c*nt i am i asked him "Why dont you wear your watch on your good arm"? He replied " How the f*ck would i be able to wind it up"?
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, that night, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate. Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. Having explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw." "Do you think that will work?" she asked. "Just worked on me," he replied.
