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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7561
    Diego and brisbane-lion like this.
  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7562
    Diego likes this.
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7563
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  4. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Oh, God, Roger, that has to be your worst ever. <doh>
     
    #7564
  5. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    I bet you laughed though.
     
    #7565
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  6. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    Just writing my first book a bit of an unusual subject about basements, I'm hopeful it will be a best cellar
     
    #7566
    Brizzlewhite likes this.
  7. Poly

    Poly Well-Known Member

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  8. Poly

    Poly Well-Known Member

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  9. Poly

    Poly Well-Known Member

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  10. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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  11. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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  12. Poly

    Poly Well-Known Member

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  13. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Well............just a bit.
     
    #7573
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  14. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    An Aussie named Bazza wanted to buy a motorcycle.

    He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a for sale' sign on it.

    The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.

    He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. 'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.

    It protects it from the rain', and he hands Bazza a jar of Vaseline.

    That night, his girlfriend, Shazza, invites him over to meet her parents.

    Naturally, they take the bike there.

    Just before they enter the house, Shazza stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes. '

    No problem,' he says…

    And in they go. Bazza is shocked.

    Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks. Dirty dishes.

    They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Bazza decides to take advantage of the situation. He leans over and kisses Shazza. No one says a word. He reaches over and fondles her ;

    His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mum horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

    He looks at her mum. She's got a great body too. Bazza grabs mum, bends her over the table, pulls down her knickers, and turns her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.

    She has a big orgasm, & Bazza sits down. His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, & mum is beaming from ear to ear.

    But still....Total silence.

    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain..

    Bazza remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket..

    Suddenly the father shouted. 'I'll do the dishes!
     
    #7574
  15. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    A zombie attack won't concern me I live a bit in the sticks and have surrounded my property with a sensor that will automatically set off the treadmills
     
    #7575
    OLOF and Makemstine Roger like this.
  16. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7577
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7578
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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #7579
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  20. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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