Mr Singh walks into a bank London and asks for the loan officer. He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million pounds. “The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr Singh, “and I have all the necessary papers.” The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. After Mr Singh leaves, the loan officer, the bank's president and all their colleagues enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a £250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a £5,000 loan. One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, Mr Singh returns, repays the £5000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, I must tell you, we’re all a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a multimillionaire. Why would you bother to borrow £5,000?" The man replies, "Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41?"
mate of mine went for a job interview from the job centre and the interviewer said at the end...."do you have any questions?"....he replied "only one really has anyone managed to get a tit **** from the stunner on reception"
A prison guard went into work one day, and he was surprised to see one of his friends locked in a cell. He asked his friend what he was doing behind bars. “Well, I was out doing my Christmas shopping one morning," his friend explained, "and then the police handcuffed me and brought me here because they said I was getting it done too early.” “Well, that doesn't sound so bad," said the guard. "I get my Christmas shopping done by the middle of November. How early did you do yours?” His friend replied, “About three hours before the store opened."
