Jokes

That's Phuket off the travel list then

 

What with you and Makemstein, Lucifer's going to have to open a special furnace for people from Leeds.

 

Snowflake

 

And Sunderland.

 

bloke in our street dresses like a bishop the full gear, big purple mitre,flowing robes,magnificent staff, not entirely convinced he's a real one as i have never seen him move diagonally

 

There can be 100 people in a room.
99 won't slap you but one Will.

 

please log in to view this image

 

Surely a "Kodak" bear only wanted to take their picture whilst a Kodiak bear ate them

 

George is 80 and lives in an old people's home. Every night his friend Mabel comes to his room and holds his cock in her hand while they watch telly. Then one Saturday Mabel goes out to her daughter's for the night.
George was going to be alone then Nora, another inmate, says 'Hey George, as Mabel's not 'ere, can i come to watch telly in your room?' He says 'Ok then'.
When she arrives and sits near him, he says would you mind holding my cock?'
'Course not'. So she sits there with his cock in her hand. At the end of the night she says 'I enjoyed it. Can i comeback tomorrow?'
'No, Mabel's back'
'What's Mabel got that I 'aven't?'
He replies 'Parkinson's disease'

 

please log in to view this image

 

my mate plays in a band called dyslexia and they have just released there greatest **** album

 

It says it’s restricted, Ell. More gay porn?

 

Ricky Gervais making chris rock look like an amateur.