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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    then why pray tell are you addicted to reading and commenting on it, could it be Brissys a little purvey,and if he acts indignant it will throw people off the scent:emoticon-0184-tmi:<whistle> <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #3581
  2. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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  3. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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    An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
    He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
    After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

    The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

    In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

    'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

    1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

    2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

    3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

    4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

    5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

    Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

    The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
     
    #3583
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #3584
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  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #3585
    Gessa likes this.
  6. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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    IMG-20211016-WA0001.jpg
     
    #3586
    Whitejock and Aski like this.
  7. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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  8. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

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    ยน IMG-20211017-WA0004.jpg
     
    #3588
    2 pennth, **Hector ** and oldschool like this.
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    LOVE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUSE WAYS.

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    #3589
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #3590

  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #3591
    OLOF and oldschool like this.
  12. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    A wife wakes in the night to find her husband missing from their bed. She goes down stairs and finds him sitting the kitchen, quietly sipping a cup of coffee. "What's the matter, dear." she asks. "Do you realise it's twenty years since we first met?" "Yes", she said, pleased that he remembered. "And do you remember how your father caught us in the back seat of his car, and you with your kickers around your ankles?" "Yes" she said, and sat down beside him, holding his hand. "And do you remember how he stuck his shotgun in my face and told me I was to marry you or face twenty years in gaol?" She nodded. "But that was long ago, just a memory". "I know", he said as he burst into tears, "but do you realise that I would have been released today?"
     
    #3592
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  13. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  15. Ringo Lion

    Ringo Lion Pumpkin

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  16. blonogasoven

    blonogasoven Well-Known Member

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    Propaganda - when you take a really good look at something.
     
    #3596
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  17. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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    After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found
    Traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that
    Their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

    Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American
    Archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
    "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their
    Ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians".

    One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
    "After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire, Jack Arkwright, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely f*** all.
    Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."

    Just makes you bloody proud to be British, don't it!
     
    #3597
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  18. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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  19. **Hector **

    **Hector ** Well-Known Member

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    #3599
  20. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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